what i've learned

Tonight, I met with my little CLC group. The girls are still great--really open and definitely diverse in their world views. We focused tonight on the people in our lives who have had a positive impact on us, who have helped us overcome struggles, and the lessons we learned from them. Here were a few of mine...

1) "Family really does multiply joy and divide grief"
I have always been grateful for my family...but as I've grown up, I realize how blessed I am to have cousins I can count on, even if months or years go by between sightings. Even in losing grandparents, we're able to come together and laugh at pictures of us as little kids, nestled at our grandparents' feet. We can go out for a drink, or a slice of pizza and because we share a common history and common stories, stupid jokes and stories from 20 years ago still make us dissove into giggles. There are few people with whom I'd rather celebrate, and having them by my side makes losses a bit more bearable.

2) "God's not going to drop you off at the airport and wave goodbye"
One of my favorite people in the world, a chaplain at HC, told me this right about the time of my graduation. The thought of leaving everything I'd ever known behind to start a new life by myself terrified me. Mb looked at me and reminded me that God hadn't abandoned me yet, that God had always put people in my life who could make me smile...so why would God stop now? Just because you believe something, though, doesn't mean you don't need to be reminded every once in a while! Mb continues to be a person I could count on, making time for me whenever I came home to visit and always willing to listen and remind me I was loved.

3) "You can't be happy where you are if you're always wishing you were somewhere else"
My dear friend M in Los Angeles spent the better part of my first 18 months repeating this like a broken record. I hated L.A., I missed my family, my friends, my home; I focused on all the negative aspects of that pit of a city. I couldn't see the (few) good things, the few positives about L.A. because I was too busy focusing on the negatives. It was an important lesson to learn, as I am a person who agonizes over decisions and am quick to second-guess myself. The grass is always greener...that viewpoint will get you no where. I was so miserable that I lost the optomism that had defined me up until that point in my life. It's back, but I still hear M's words echoing in my head any time I think What if? about the road not taken.

There are many more lessons to come, I know...and many more wonderful people will come along to help me learn them. Big Yellow has certainly been a source of both friends and lessons--I'm glad I get to continue learning from you all.

a nun, monday's child who's learned to tie his bootlegs (lady madonna, the beatles)